The Post-PCS Blues

We recently moved from Virginia to Mississippi –  our 5th PCS move (Permanent Change of Station) in 13 years. Without realizing it until now, or at least not being able to put a name to it, there is definitely a period I call post-PCS depression. The post-PCS blues, if you will. It has always been there for me, but I noticed it for what it really was this time. In previous moves I’ve put it off as exhaustion or guilt or feelings of worthlessness. But if I’m honest with myself I think it’s really a period of slight emotional depression.

Have you experienced this, too? I’d love for you to leave a comment with your experiences, if you feel comfortable sharing. I don’t want this post to simply be me chatting at you, but rather with you. So, if you have something to add or share, would you mind leaving a comment? I’d love the chance to be more open and honest with one another. Thanks!

So, what are the post-PCS blues? 

The post-PCS blues occur after a PCS, move, or relocation. It’s a brief period of sadness, anxiety, or feeling down. It occurs after the stress of planning, organizing and executing a move; saying goodbyes, farewells, and see-you-laters; and coping with the realization of being the new girl all over again. 

Before we keep chatting, please know that having the post-PCS blues is not the same as having a serious season of deep depression. If you think you have something more serious going on, please don’t hesitate to call your doctor or consult a counselor. 

What can you do?

Having the post-PCS blues may be something that happens cyclically as you go through military wife life but there are action steps to help you weather this season well. And the first of these is to simply recognize that your post-PCS blues are normal. You can call it for what it is and find solidarity knowing you aren’t the only one going through it. Hooray for being normal!

Your next step is one you may not consider right away, but taking time to mourn is vital if you want to be able to smoothly transition from one duty station to the next. After the physical move from one place to the next you immediately spend all your energy unpacking, creating new routines, and being the stability your children and family crave. It’s easy to forget about what you need and the darkness can creep in. It’s during this time you must give yourself permission to grieve your previous duty station and the losses you experienced. You lost familiarity. You lost your sense of belonging. Those are real and valid losses. They are big emotions to deal with and it takes time to mourn what once was.

A PCS move is a major life change and you have to be able to accept that it will take time (probably more than you expect) to adjust. Do yourself a favor and take time to mourn. It will help you move through your post-PCS blues more quickly.

Another thing you can do is to really take time to settle into your new home. Whether it’s a cramped apartment or your dream home, unpack those boxes, friend. Every single one! Having a secure environment within the walls of your home will help you feel safe and alleviate some of the anxiety that comes with moving. Hang pictures on the walls as soon as you can. Put in the energy to rearrange furniture until you are content. Put in the extra effort to make your home a place you love. 

While you’re creating your home in this midst of chaos, be sure to check in with your people. Don’t distance yourself from those who love and care for you. Be honest with your close friends, even if they’re across the country, and tell them how you’re feeling. You must be sure to not let those feelings of isolation win. Let your trusted friends into your mental space and tell them how you’re feeling. It will help those post-PCS blues feel less suffocating.

Once you start to feel settled in your new space you have permission to venture out and be social. For some of you this is exciting and some of you have hives just reading this sentence. So, here’s the deal, if you are an introvert, leave yourself plenty of space post-PCS to decompress and mentally prepare for this new season. However, you can’t do military wife life alone, so promise me you’ll say yes to one social event per month? For my extroverts, you might be wanting to do things slightly out of order, but make sure your home and family are good and secure before you fill the social calendar. Know yourself as you start making new friends but keep those boundaries in place. Navigating this with grace and at your own pace will help the post-PCS blues lift more smoothly.

And lastly, as you put all these pieces together and start forging ahead in your new duty station, find your new routines and rhythms. Just because you are in a different space, different pace, and new place (I love that all that rhymed) doesn’t mean you don’t need structure to your days and weeks. A lack of organization can cause extra anxiety and increased post-PCS blues, so do yourself a favor and work hard to create new rhythms.

So, tell me, what is most challenging for you as you navigate your post-PCS life? I’d love to chat about it in the comments :)

Oh and one last thing, this process takes T I M E. Please be kind to yourself along the way. Much love!