The Weight of the Uniform
I spent the majority of the past several weeks scrolling news sites and social media. After the news broke that Russia invaded Ukraine, I couldn’t peel myself away from consuming every scrap of information I could find. At some point, I came across a photo of an United States Army uniform draped over a banister with a pair of combat boots beneath it. The military wife posting the picture wasn’t someone I knew personally but have had several online conversations with. Her caption below the photo talked about how, prior to this major world event, she never fully grasped the weight of her husband’s uniform. It made me stop my scroll.
I looked up from my phone with a chill in my body. I scanned our living room and saw my husband’s combat boots on the floor with his blouse hanging from the coat hook. I saw his brown backpack lying open in our entryway and signs of military life all around us. I looked at everything with a hunger in my eyes to understand her perspective. You see, nothing has changed for us since the Russia-Ukraine War started, but her story is nothing like ours. Our military lives appear similar from the outside, but her new situation forced her to understand the true weight of her husband’s uniform.
The difference between our living room and hers was that my husband’s uniform was carelessly tossed on the coat hook after a regular day at work. Her husband laid out his uniform in preparation for the possibility of going to war. He had been told to pack his bags, his uniforms, because he might be needed at a moment’s notice. She had to go through her days dealing with the weight of her husband possibly joining the fight. Every time she walked by his packed bags and hanging uniform, she had to face the reality and the weight of her husband’s job and by extension, their family’s lifestyle.
This uniform carries a weight.
On one level, I think we, as military wives, all understand this. I think we know our husband’s jobs are important, but why does it all of a sudden feel heavier than it did last month?
What lies within the heaviness?
The first thing we can name is fear. An event of this scale brings fear to everyone watching and/or impacted. An event of this scale and closely tied to the military brings a larger sense of fear within our community, especially when you are one of the ones with husbands answering the call. Fear increases the weight of the uniform.
If we take a second to look up what the Bible has to say about fear, we can see countless verses saying, “don’t be afraid.” One of my favorites is
“Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.” Isaiah 41:10 NLT
Fear will increase your worry. Fear will increase your anxiety. Fear will increase the weight you feel as a military wife. But we, as Christians, are called to lean on God when we feel afraid. Fear isn’t our only option right now. God is with us and He has more than enough strength to see us through this current situation, no matter how big it feels.
The second thing we can name is threat. There is a potential threat on the horizon and it is looming over our heads as we attempt to go about our ordinary lives. This heightened threat magnifies our fear, stress, and anxiety. The good news is, we aren’t the first to experience the threat of an enemy. If we look to David in the Psalms, he cries out to God for protection time and time again.
“O God, listen to my complaint. Protect my life from my enemies’ threats.” Psalm 64:1 NLT
It isn’t until our everyday lives are threatened that we fully feel the weight of the uniform. In this season, we can pray for protection. We can call out to God and seek him when we feel the threat of change.
We may go through military wife life never having to watch our husbands leave for war. Or we may go through military wife life with a husband who seems to always be in the fight. Regardless of what side of this line you are on, we are a community. Our husbands wear the same uniform. Sometimes it will feel impossibly heavy and other times we won’t notice the uniform at all.
The important things to remember in times like these are just how present the Lord is and how He has created us to be in community with each other. He gives strength to wives in order to help hold up others. He gives strength to kids in order to bring balance to families. He gives strength to neighbors in order to lend a helping hand.
His strength is available, trustworthy, and necessary because right now the uniform feels like more weight than we can bear on our own.