church shopping 101
11 home addresses in 12 years and we continue to hang the sign “Home is where the Navy sends us.” The military says move and we start packing. And while they get the final say in our residing zip code every few years, there is one major decision my Navy family makes together each and every duty station.
The military chooses our home state, but we choose our church home.
The stressors of moving are enough to send anyone into a storm of worry and frantic list-making. Somewhere on the list, after the unpacking begins, we find ourselves looking into the overwhelming task of church shopping.
As a military family we fully understand the importance of finding our people and finding them quickly.
Moving from Florida to Nevada, we spent months googling churches, looking up service times, planning our Sunday mornings until we found a church home. Years later, when we moved from Mississippi to Virginia, we prayed for a church family before we crossed state lines. As we have matured in years and faith, we trust the Lord has a church home for us in every new state or country, but how we approach the search has changed.
After a decade of doing this every few years, we know what is important to us versus what we are willing to sacrifice.
As you and your family grow, there are many things to consider as you look for your church family. What works for you as a single might not work for you as a Mom of four with a deployed husband.
Church Shopping 101
Here are ten things to consider when church shopping, in no particular order.
1. Kids Ministry
Do you have children yet? Teens or infants or something in between? Take into consideration the kids ministry and what they have to offer within each stage of child development. If you have toddlers now, but will be at this place for several years, look ahead and check into elementary ministries and youth groups!
2. Worship Experience
Ask yourself, your spouse, your kids what worship style is preferred and longed for. Does your soul yearn after traditional hymns and an organ, or is Elevation Worship more your style? If you have a child with special needs, consider how the loud worship and/or fog machines and lights will impact his or her reaction to their environment when in church.
3. Community Involvement
My husband loves when the church body is involved in the community, getting their hands dirty and doing physical work to help others. How important to you or your family are service projects or community dinners?
4. Denomination
I grew up Methodist, but was baptized Lutheran. My husband was born and raised in the Lutheran church. We’ve been members of the Methodist and Presbyterian congregations over the years and currently attend a non-denominational church. How important is denomination to you? Your spouse?
5. Small Groups
Connect groups, life groups, cell groups, bible studies -- the option of attending a small group is something to consider, no matter what they’re called. If this is something that is important to you and your faith journey, look into what groups your perspective church offers.
6. Message Content/Preaching Style
Preaching styles vary as much as a toddler changes outfits in one day. You can find a pastor reading verses upon chapters of scripture straight from the King James version and two miles down the road a minister is giving you the best motivational speech of your life. Yes, we need to be vigilant about making sure our leaders aren’t preaching false information, but how you receive the Word matters.
7. Congregation
Ask yourself if you want to dive into a mega church or be a founding member of a brand new church plant. Do you want the average age of the congregation to be closer to your grandmother’s age or do you want Gen Z kids serving you coffee as you walk through the door? The culture and dynamic of a congregation is something to consider before jumping in.
8. Service Times
If you have ever tried keeping an infant or toddler on their nap schedule while church shopping, you know how important service times can be to a young family. For some, this doesn’t matter. Other things to look at would be if the church offers weekday services or Saturday/Sunday evening services. If the only option is 8am and you are raising a family of night owls, this church might not be for you during this season of your life.
9. Location
For some smaller towns, this may not be a factor you have the luxury of considering, but if you are moving to a larger city, this can impact your decision. Are you willing to drive 30 minutes to church each weekend? Or is that out of the question considering it takes 1,713 hours to get your children (and husband) dressed, fed and out the door?
10. Serving Opportunities
If you are anything like me, you want to jump in with both feet and hands waving in the air. If this is you, does this new church have a ministry you can join or help lead? Is there an opportunity for you to serve the church/community using the gifts the Lord has given you?
Joining a new church can be daunting and it may take several tries before finding the right one. There are many things to consider.
Never underestimate how the Lord will work to prepare a place for you before you land in your church family. Pray about your decision and don’t shy away from having hard conversations with your spouse and family.
Will you find the perfect fit? Maybe! And maybe the perfect fit will never exist on this side of Heaven. What matters is that you and your family sit down together and invite Jesus into the decision as you walk with Him into a new congregation.
Happy church shopping!
As you navigate church shopping with your family, you may have Sundays when the battle to get everyone ready on time feels impossible. For you this may be your hardest hour of the day - the morning rush. If this sounds familiar, I’d love to help!
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