Preparing for a PCS

Although I truly believe experience is the best teacher, having some guidance when it comes to a PCS (Permanent Change of Station) move is crucial. 

Did you know moving is ranked as one of the top five most stressful and emotional situations in a lifespan? In a lifespan! And we, as military families, have to do it repeatedly. A military move is jolting. As a milspouse, you know it’s always around the corner and yet it still wrecks you. It sucks all your time and mental energy. It leaves you spinning and overwhelmed. It brings you to tears in unexpected moments.

It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to be excited. It’s okay to grieve. It’s okay to get emotional. It’s okay to hope for a better future. It’s. Okay. There isn’t only one right way to get through a PCS. And you don’t always have to do it with a smile on your face. 

Mental Health Reminders

In this blog post I’m going to give you a list of ways you can physically prepare your home for your upcoming PCS, but before we get to that I want to encourage you with a few reminders that will help your mental health.

• You don’t have to go through this transition alone. Please ask for help along the way and lean on your friends and the community around you.

• Be sure to have lots and lots of conversations with your husband and kids – open conversations about things like expectations, transitions, unity, change, and love.

• It’s okay (and encouraged) to take time to grieve your current duty station. 

• You have permission to grab onto the hope you have for what’s next.

• Remember to be in constant communication with God because He is ordering your steps.

• Finish your current assignment(s) well.

Moving is hard and we can do hard things, but we’re allowed to be honest and kind with ourselves along the way. Let’s learn from our own experiences and from those who have gone before us.

PCS Prep List

Now let’s get to the dirty work. How do you physically prep your house for a move? Whether you are letting the military handle the move or you are doing it yourself, there are several great things to do in preparation.

1. Create a Master Purge/Organization List

As soon as you get orders in hand, start preparing for the move! The more you can do on your end, the easier the unpacking process will be on the other end. The first thing I do is create a master list of everything I need to purge/organize before boxes get packed. My list goes room by room, area by area. I keep my line items small, manageable, actionable, and not overwhelming. For me, this means not listing “Living Room” but dividing up the room into “LR Bookcase” “LR Closet” “Entertainment Center” etc. because I want to be able to start and finish one task in its entirety before feeling overwhelmed. From here I can go through each area and determine what I want to keep, trash, or donate.

2. Shift Your Mindset

Once the master list is made and you start going through closets and kitchen cupboards, be sure to keep a purge mindset. This doesn’t mean you have to be vicious, but remember the overall goal. You are trying to make this move as easy and simple as possible. You are trying to make sure your unpack goes quickly so you can feel settled faster. Ask yourself if the items you are keeping vs. purging will help or hinder throughout that process.

3. Make Time

The pre-PCS organization and preparation will absolutely not happen on its own. You must put in the work and carve out time to purge and organize. I find that setting timers is extremely helpful. This process can be very overwhelming, but if you work in small chunks it becomes more manageable.

4. Stop Buying Bulk Food

Depending on how large your family is, I recommend you stop buying bulk food items 2-3 months out from your PCS date. When you get to the one month mark, it’s time to start really eating your way through your freezer and pantry. 

5. Stop/Pause Home Subscriptions

This doesn’t mean your streaming services, but think about any home-based delivery subscriptions you may have. I like to completely stop these 1-2 months out and then re-subscribe once we have our new address. You can choose to pause them, but I find it less stressful if those things aren’t hanging over my head during the move.

6. Start Scheduling Goodbyes

If you have been in one area for several years, it’s important to be tender toward the relationships you’ve built. As your calendar permits, start scheduling playdates for the kids and their friends. Plan some dinners and lunches for family friends. You and your friends need closure, especially if you have ties with a lot of non-military friends. Keep your expectations low in regards to emotions and feelings, especially with your kids, but don’t skip this step before your move.

7. Ask for Help

It’s okay to not be able to handle it all on your own. I know it can be hard to ask for help, but don’t rob someone else’s giftings if they want to bless your family. You can ask friends to watch your kids while you clean out the garage. You can ask for someone to provide dinner one night. You can ask someone to sit and talk with you while you sort baby clothes for donation. Nothing is too big or too small and sometimes we just need company and connection in the middle of a big transition.

I know it’s a lot, but you’ll be just fine. Take some deep breaths. Walk away when you need to. But have faith the Lord has you where He wants you. You can do this.