loving well

You cannot love your husband well when you are not well.

This was my response to a question asked during a live interview this week. Writer and podcaster, Kerrah Fabacher, asked me, “When is it hard(est) to love your hubbie well?”

Don’t we agree it’s hard to love anyone well when we are not well? Especially when it’s someone as close to us as our husbands? So, what does ‘well’ look like as a military wife, busy mom, working woman?

Here are some questions to ask yourself as you dive into a small moment of self-reflection.

• Is your soul at peace?

• Do you feel exhausted?

• When is the last time you carved out time for YOU?

• Are you spending daily time with the Lord?

• What makes it so hard to regularly take care of yourself?

I won’t claim to have all the answers in this post, but here are a few things you can start doing right now. No, you don’t have to do them all today, or even this week, but these are the small things that add up to loving yourself. Girl, hear me on this — most honest self care is incredibly unsexy work, but you can do hard things because you know it’s worth it.

• Drink a glass of water. Right now.

• Promise yourself you’ll eat some vegetables today. A handful of baby carrots will do.

• Kick the negative self-talk in the teeth.

• Read one Bible verse. Start small.

• Take a walk outside or open a window for 30 seconds and breath in fresh air.

• Close your eyes and tell Jesus you are grateful.

• Take a deep breath. In and out.

• Celebrate the small victories.

These little things are what make you well. There is no magic, no instant answer. It’s in the small, intentional gifts you give yourself each day, each week that make you well.

And here’s the beauty of this concept. When you feel well, everyone around you is blessed with your love.

You love best when you are well.