loving when you don't want to
What does it look like to love when you don’t want to?
This was the second question Kerrah Fabacher asked me in our live ig interview. I am all about a good set of practicals, things to grab on to when you aren’t exactly sure how to navigate marriage. So, when I thought about this answer, I found myself thinking of daily examples. I found myself thinking what it looks like in the Eberhart house when we don’t feel like loving one another.
We all have these days, right? I felt this way last week! Nothing was wrong and my husband didn’t do or say anything specific to fluster me, I simply didn’t feel like loving him well.
This doesn’t mean I was angry toward him.
This doesn’t mean I caused tension.
I just didn’t feel like putting in the work of loving him well.
Maybe I can point it to not being in a great mental place, or not taking care of myself that day, but regardless of how I landed there, I was there, not wanting to love him well.
Feel familiar?
I told Kerrah in our chat, the most important thing to keep in mind when you find yourself here is the reason behind not wanting to love him well.
When my husband asks me to spend time with him, I often feel a struggle within.
Why?
Of course I want to hang out with him, but in order for it to happen at that particular moment, I have to reprioritize the plan I already formulated in my mind. I can absolutely still do everything on my mental list, but I have to shift things around. THIS IS OKAY!
Reprioritizing is key to loving your husband well when you don’t want to.
Thinking about your husband’s love language and keeping in mind what is on your mental to-do list, how can you reprioritize in order to love him well?
Maybe it looks like spending ten minutes with him when he gets home from work, instead of diving right into dinner prep.
Maybe it looks like picking his uniforms up from the dry cleaners so he doesn’t have to stop on the way home from work, even though you may have to shift your list of errands that day.
Maybe it looks like sending a flirty text in between zoom calls, instead of checking instagram right away.
Maybe it looks like having sex before you turn the TV on after the kids go to bed, so you aren’t too tired right before bed.
Maybe it looks like adding a new water bottle for him to your amazon cart before you click Buy Now on that awesome lightning deal you scored for yourself.
There are plenty of hours in the day for you to love him well, even when you don’t want to, and still get done what you need/want to get done. Reprioritize, sister.