chin up, sister - this life can be amazing! a message for the military wife

Okay, so maybe this isn’t what you imagined. Maybe right now this life doesn’t feel the way you thought it would feel. And maybe you don’t understand where you fit - like you don’t know who you are anymore.

Good news, sister. You don’t have to settle for that nonsense.

Sure, it feels like that right now, but you are stronger than that. You are a military wife, for the love. You, my friend, can overcome!

It’s interesting to think about - as a little girl you imagine your life happening one way but somewhere along the line all that changes. The life you pictured doesn’t quite exist and you find yourself in very unfamiliar territory. I can’t think of a more intensified example than that of the military wife.

She gets through the first few years of military life on adrenaline but somewhere along the path she starts to break. She had dreams and aspirations of her own - desires of her heart that God placed there. But those have been shuffled aside out of necessity. She now feels lost among dishes, housework and the certainty of uncertainty.

Sound familiar? But here’s the thing - you CAN serve your husband while still finding your place in his world! You can and I am here to help.

First, let’s take a deep breath together. *inhale - exhale* Take a deep breath knowing that this is going to take work, but it’s important work. Sure, there are physical things that we can do better, but most importantly it’s a mindset shift. This takes work, but if you have hope of a better tomorrow I KNOW you can find your place.

You, my friend, are made on purpose and for a purpose. You are equipped for this life of serving your husband. You cannot do it alone, but this life can be truly amazing.

So, how do you get to a place of contentment from a place of pain? The first step is having hope. 

When you married this man you agreed to do this thing called life together - no matter what.

Now things aren’t so glorious and you start to wonder how and when it all changed. You’ve had to give up a whole lot to follow him around this world so that he can fulfill his calling to serve this beautiful nation. And in the beginning it wasn’t so hard because new love is blinding. But right now, in the thick of it, it’s hard. It feels unfair. You play the game in your mind battling between jealousy of his life’s purpose and pride because you married that gorgeous man in uniform. Which side do you choose? Which emotion will you let consume you today?

Will you be envious that he “gets to” have adult friends that go out for lunch together? Or will you brag about him to your friends because of the amazing job he is doing? Which side will you choose today?

It’s a battle that we will face over and over again. Sure, it feels unfair, but do you know what will always be true in this situation? No matter your feelings, you will always have things to be insanely grateful for. The more we practice gratitude the more our hearts will have the chance to heal and become healthy again. 

Flip each and every scenario around and shift your perspective. For example:

Change this: “He has purpose and I am lost in the world of dishes and diapers.” 

To this: “He is working hard to provide for a family he loves and because of that he has to sacrifice first steps and first words. He wouldn’t be able to do any of this well if it weren’t for me supporting him from home. What a gift.”

I promise you both breakthrough and hard work. The first won’t come without the latter. But it is worth it, my friend. So worth it.

Now get to work, sister. Switch your perspective, find the blessings and have hope.