6 ways to keep dating your husband
Our first date was dinner and a movie.
We were in college and living on a college budget. Fancy for us meant going out for Olive Garden and watching a movie we already owned. On paper it isn’t anything special, but can I tell you how many butterflies race through my stomach when I think back to how long it took me to get ready for my Olive Garden romance?
I can tell you what I wore.
I can tell you what I ordered.
I can tell you what we talked about.
I can tell you what movie we watched.
We treated that night with care because we cared for one another.
Not all first dates are romantic. Not all first dates are memorable. But your first date with the man you married is something you never forget. No matter how much money you spent, where it was, or what you did. It’s memorable because you value the person you made those memories with.
So, what happens as time goes on?
For us, adding four children to our family, moving across the country several times, and walking through deployments forced us to live a whole lot of life in eleven years.
Does this sound familiar? Do date nights feel optional or unnecessary the longer you are married? We feel this way sometimes, too.
Whether you have been married for months or decades, here are a few great ways to keep dating your husband. (Side note: I say date night a lot, but this can be date morning/day, too)
1. Mark it on the calendar
Sister, don’t fool yourself into thinking dating your spouse will come naturally and easily as the years of marriage pass. Date nights, once kids enter the equation, become like finding four leaf clovers if you aren’t intentional with your calendar.
Set a date once a week, once a month, twice a month, whatever works with your current season. There is no rule on frequency, but don’t expect dates to happen regularly if you aren’t planning for them.
I’m not sure where this quote originated from, but I’ve heard it said several times “you can tell what is important to someone by looking at their calendar and their checkbook.”
What we spend our time and money on prove their importance in our lives. Do you believe this quote? It’s a little harsh, but I don’t think it’s untrue either.
We are willing to spend time on things we value. We are willing to spend money on things we value. So let me ask you this, are you spending time and money on your marriage? Let’s take a look at the next point, before we fully answer that question.
2. Put it in the budget
Is there room in your monthly budget for babysitters, dinners, movies, desserts, coffee, bottles of wine, and mini golf? Do you value your marriage enough to spend time and money on it?
Marriage will always take work. If we aren’t intentional in our marriages, we’ll start valuing the relationship less.
Does this mean you have to set aside $400/month for weekly date nights? No ma’am! Sure, it’s fun to splurge every now and then for big celebrations, but the key components to a quality date night aren’t tied to dollars and cents.
Spend time together. Have good conversation. Fill each other’s love tanks.
(If you haven’t taken your love language quizzes yet, mark it on the calendar and do it for your next date night! You’ll both learn so much about each other and it will make date planning easier in the future, as you’ll understand what each other's needs are!)
3. Game face ON! No bad attitudes allowed
As we are all mostly stuck at home still, date night may sound lame if you can’t go anywhere. Newsflash, if you think the date is going to suck just because you have to adhere to COVID rules, the date will totally suck. It’s all about your mindset. Have a good attitude and keep your expectations low, my friend. Focus on what really matters, time with your sexy hubby!
The narrative you are telling yourself about the date will make or break the experience for both of you. If you find yourself having a weird day, get pumped before your date. Get ready with the music blasting and put on an outfit that makes you feel good. Speaking of clothes, let's chat about what to wear.
4. Dress up!
Even if you are staying home for your date, your man wants to see you in something other than sweatpants and a hoodie.
Girl, we all know you know how to kick it up a notch. Don’t pretend you don’t dress up more for your girls than you do for date night. Don’t cheat your husband out of that goodness! He wants to see you looking good. Take a shower, SHAVE YOUR LEGS, curl your hair, put some mascara on, and grab that tight-fitting dress in the back of your closet. Your man will thank you and you will feel good, too!
5. Explore Experiences vs Expenses
We talked a little bit about not breaking the bank, but let’s chat about some ideas. Not everything you do together has to cost money. What are some things you can do that are more experiential?
Go for a walk together at a nearby park/lake.
Run errands together and hold hands as you walk through Home Depot.
Stream a workout together.
Play a board game at home.
Visit a museum.
Not everything has to cost a lot of money and some of these take very little prep work.
If you’re looking for something more, make those dinner reservations for the best steakhouse in town! Plan an overnight date and get a hotel room. Get a couples massage. Go to the movies.
Get creative here, but explore the options of experiencing something together versus spending a lot of money. And can you do both? Absolutely!
6. Understand Needs vs Wants
What do each of you need right now in this current season of life? What do each of you want? Can you find something that fits all those things? If not, what are you willing to compromise? You’ll notice you each need different things as you enter various seasons of life, so fine tune your date nights.
Is his job stressful right now? Maybe he needs a lighthearted date. Try Axe Throwing so he can get some aggression out while still having fun!
Are you feeling depleted right now? Maybe you need to be pampered. Try getting a couples massage.
Ask each other what you need and what you want. It sounds so simple, but we often fall back on dinner and a movie for date nights when that isn’t going to fill either of your cups in that specific season of life.
Dating your husband is one of the most important components of a healthy marriage. Be intentional about carving out time for him, listening, having good conversation, experiencing new things together, and helping each other fulfill needs and wants. Marriage takes work, but it can still be fun. Enjoy each other again and let those butterflies take flight!